A new life..a new beginning..

She had heard people say that the end of one thing is the beginning of another. Who knew that she would get to understand the meaning of these simple words so soon. She was unable to comprehend as to how she had been so lucky, did God love her more than others? Or was it just her perspective? She decided to believe in the latter. 

Her individual perspective defined her personality. Yes, she was an optimist. She believed in "Everything happens for a reason", she trusted God no matter what the situation. She had faith. And God rewarded her optimism by making her meet the one person who can make all her worries vanish..the one person who brushed her past aside like dust...the one person who is her best friend..the one person who strengthens her soul..the one person who can make her believe in love again. He was the person who would guide her to her New life..her New Beginning.

Strange how they both could just click. Strange how both of them could pour out all their emotions in front of each other and strange was how they just fell for each other without even realizing it. Strange love is. But it did happen for them and they were happy, finding solace in each other..finding everything that they've been looking for all their life. He could make her laugh in the middle of the night..he could make her peaceful...he could make her feel protected...he could make her feel like herself again. It was like he had pulled her out of the void, the cocoon she had wrapped around herself..

They are perfect for each other. Fate has bound them together as a single individual. She didn't realize it yet but her life was not just hers alone, it was his and his life was hers. Together they embark upon a journey, which is their new life, their new beginning.. 

Strange how once she thought she was alone but not anymore..

Change.

How could she accept this Change after all this time spent planning a future together with him. How could she just move on? It wasn't easy for her to let go of her dreams without putting up a fight. The dreams that she had spun with him. It wasn't easy for her to become familiar with the fact that he was a liar. It was impossible for her to sleep with the ghost of the promises made in the past haunting her constantly. All that she wondered for months was the ease with which he forgot her. How he had spent hours looking into her eyes and promising her, that they would be together for eternity. Was this the strength of their love? No, this was the weakness of his love. He didn't have the courage to admit his faults. He didn't have the courage to admit that he lied to her. He didn't have the courage to admit that he could never give up his ego. He didn't. And this was the reason she had to separate her ways with him because he never loved her.

Going through the trauma of understanding that the person she loved the most in this world didn't care if she lived or died, who did nothing to calm her down, to assure her of his love when she needed it the most just so his ego stays intact. Knowing for certain that she had lost him forever is the Change that she has to learn to respect and to live with. This is the Change that will make her grow. This is the Change that'll make her embrace life. And this is the Change that'll provide to her the new beginning she's been looking for.

This is the Change that she WILL live with. She WILL move on and she WILL be happy. :)

Joblessness

"Joblessness" a word borrowed from a friend, made me laugh when he said it at first. But now, it has become the  perfect description of my present situation. With school over and no college before September, I have a lot of time to kill. The perpetual clouds of boredom are all around me. They at times create an aura of depression and at times that of exuberance. Depression because of loneliness and nothing to keep me preoccupied and exuberance because I'm going to enter a new phase of life, a phase that I look forward to happily. 

Enduring months of stress is not a condition any person enjoys. After a lot of stress now that I get some time for myself, I do not like it. 

Sometimes I feel I was better off in school, who doesn't?  At least then you had something or the other on your mind, be it looking forward to meeting friends or a class that you loved. They were simpler times. Times, that I miss badly right now. I miss my friends, I miss my teachers, I miss those rubbish talks in school, the fights, the classes, the campus, the ambiance, the stupid prayer services ..everything. 

This is what boredom does to you, your mind starts wandering in different useless directions.

This "Joblessness" is killing me. The only thing I can do now is be hopeful for a new beginning and pray that this phase, the phase of "joblessness" never haunts me again. 

Drenched

Image via Wikipedia

Today I got totally drenched in the rain, the first time this monsoon. The grey clouds maybe depressing to a few people but to me, they bring re freshness. A few moments of happiness so powerful that would make me smile even when I'm depressed. 

As I was just relishing the feel of the cool drops on my skin, water dripping from my eye lashes with arms wide spread and a wide smile on my face, I completely lost myself in the lovely feeling of peace. For the first time after many months, I felt myself again. The old me, was back. I just enjoyed this feeling to the core. I danced in the rain, careless, free, calm. 

After horrible months, today I was drenched. Drenched in the peace and quiet of the rains. And I loved it. 

The Proposal

He was standing there outside the flower shop. There she was smelling and kissing the flowers that she loved, roses, lilies were her favourite and he was just standing there, looking at her thinking to himself, how lucky he had been to have found her. She was so beautiful, kind, generous and she was his. She had chosen HIM. She was his life. She was his soul. He suddenly felt the weight of the little jewelery box that held "The Ring". The only thing he knew at that moment, was that he wanted to spend his life with her.Wanted to love her forever. Wanted to make her happier than she ever thought she could be. He just wanted to grow old with her.

She came back out of the little shop and kissed him on his nose, a gesture that made him love her even more and he  held her close and kissed her forehead. They walked together to their apartment, hand in hand, relishing all the memories, all the closeness and all the love. He still remembered how he had never thought that he would love someone to this intensity, how he had never imagined his entire life that he would be loved back this way. How he had thought that she was "Out of his league". But it did happen. And he couldn't have been more thankful to God, for giving her to him.

The night of the proposal had been planned a long time back. This was the way he had always pictured himself proposing to her for a lifetime of togetherness. The way he would make this day, the best day of her being. Something that would always bring her beautiful smile on her face. Of course he would make every day as special as he could but this moment was different.

He booked the pretty little restaurant beside the lake. Her favourite place. The little hut just beside the lake offered a fabulous view of the mountains, Picture Perfect. He was sure that this would be one of the most memorable times of both of their lives. He got a beautiful archway prepared for the entrance, an aisle that directly led her to him, where he would be standing with a bouquet of roses. He decided to just kneel down on one knee when she approached him and do it. He had violins ready to be played and a scrumptious dinner to be enjoyed. 

He was brought out of his reverie when she said, "You still haven't told me where I have to reach tonight."

"It's your favourite restaurant, sweetheart. I know how much you love that place" He said.

She smiled his favourite smile and asked, "Why do I have to reach there alone? Without you?"

"I'm so sorry, love. I really have to run some errands. I promise I'll be there on time." He replied.

She just nodded sadly and said, "Don't make me wait." And smiled again.

"A promise is a promise." He grinned.

God, how she could just lift his spirits with just a single smile of hers. 

He left the apartment and got to the restaurant, all ready and nervous. Funny, how he knew that she will say yes but the trepidation still made him sweat. At the right time, he took his place at the end of the aisle and waited for her. His heart pounding so loudly that it threatened to pop right out of his chest. He still couldn't understand the nervousness. Then, there she was, looking as beautiful as ever or maybe even more in a sexy cocktail dress and time just stopped. Her every move seemed like in slow motion. The look of surprise on her face, the way she closed the distance between them and the smile that he so much adored. This was the moment and he just held his breath. After what felt like an eternity, she came close to him and he knelt on one knee opening the little box in-front of her.

"Grace, my love, I have never been happier in my life. Without you I felt incomplete like I had no force in me that would make me stay alive. But then you entered my life and brightened even the darkest of times. You are my will to live. You are my world, my life. And I promise, to care for you, to love you, to make you happy throughout our lives. I wanna grow old with you Grace, I love you, will you please, please marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?"  He said with tears in his eyes.

The look on her face was priceless. The shock combined with the happiness and the glow would actually make him trade his life. This was the reason why he had wanted to make this so special. He knew that he would remember this expression throughout his life. And then she said with tears in her eyes, happy tears, "Yes. Of course you idiot! You are mine and nothing would make me happier to spend a lifetime with you! "

He placed the ring on the third finger of her left hand and kissed her hand. She bent down and kissed him so passionately as if making him realize how much this meant to her. And then they had their first dance as an engaged couple. He whispered "Thank you, I love you." in her ear and they just looked into each other's eyes filled with the anticipation of being with each other, for as long as they shall both live.

PS: Thank you for reading this!! Stay Happy!! :)

My Angel

Like every other girl stupid in love, I was one too. Like every other girl I suffered a heart break. Like every other girl, there I was crying my eyes out for the guy who did not look back at me once. There I was feeling incompetent and thinking of ways to end my life. Pondering on how reckless I had been. How I had given my heart and soul to him. How stupid I was to let myself be so vulnerable. To be torn apart like this. Was this what my mom had always taught me? And then, there it was, the spark I had been looking for. There she was, her face just popped right in my mind. Just the look at her face forced me to leave the solitude of my room and the need to just be with her pushed me up on my feet. That was the moment when I knew that everything was going to be all right. I wiped off my tears fiercely and went to find her.


As I entered her room, like every other day she was perfecting her already perfectly adorned room, an innate habit that she had. When I got into the room, she just gazed at me and she knew. That was the art that my mom had perfected, reading my face. I never had to tell her anything. She always knew what the happiness behind my smiles and the devastation behind my tears was. She just always knew.


She reached out to me and held me close to her, kissing my forehead. She needed no words to comfort me, just her presence was enough to calm my fears. I looked at her with helpless tearful eyes and that is the moment when I saw it. The glow bouncing off of her face. At that particular moment I realized, that she was My Angel. There was nothing in this whole wide world that would be more important to me than my mother. She is the one person, who has always been with me through my up's and down's. Through my failures and my success. No matter what the time, there she was at my beck and call, beside me, supporting me, urging me forward, and I felt stupid for even having the thought of killing myself in my mind. I cursed myself inwardly thinking about what that could have done to her. How I would have betrayed her trust by doing precisely the thing that she had made me strong enough to avoid by making me look for the little happy memories that keep you going even through the darkest times, to see that little shred of silver lining.


There I lay with my head on her lap, feeling secure, comforted and most importantly determined and strong. This was what she is, she is my strength, my support system, my best friend. She is My Angel and there is no fact that could change it. She is my silver lining. She keeps me going. She is my teacher, guide and mentor and will be throughout my life. She knows me inside out. And I will be hers, forever.


PS: This situation is fictional but it is dedicated to my mom. :) 
It's absolutely right to say that God can't be everywhere and that is the sole reason he created mothers. :)


Thank you for reading this! Stay Happy! Stay light! :)

Swept Away

It is not so uncommon to be swept away by a person who fits in your idea of a 'soul mate'. 


Love happens and touches everyone's heart at least once in their life. Like every other feeling in the universe, love builds gradually. You feel it creep into you. You start sensing it when a gentle brush of your lover's hand gives you goosebumps. When their adoring stare makes you to just want to hug them tight and kiss them. When your heart skips a beat as you see them come towards you. When all you want to do is hold their hand, walk miles and stare deep into their eyes. Let them know that you are here to care for them, to be their shoulder to cry on when they need it and be their constant support system.


Love is when you start counting your blessings, when you know for sure that you can absolutely give up anything and everything for just a single smile on your lover's face. Where the word 'ego' does not exist, where a single streak of sadness on their face feels like a dagger pierced through your heart. It is when you silently promise them your life for eternity, to love them 'til your last breath. When your entire world is centered around that one person you love from your heart and soul.


Love is a beautiful expression of life as it makes you want to live and cherish everything you possess, every happy feeling becomes hundred fold when you are in love. :)


Who says love just happens in fairy tales? It can and it does happen in reality if you will it. So, go and find the one person whose smile can make you go weak in the knees and you are swept away.